I had several visitors this weekend, or rather I should say Matthew did, he is the main attraction these days, Im just the support staff :) One of the visitors (who I'm allowing to remain nameless) had not seen me in quite a while and certainly not since I have given birth, looked at me towards the end of our visit and sort of nodded at the sweet lump of a baby in my arms peacefully sleeping and said..."that's put a good five years on you". I immediately felt like I had been slapped...with a brick...As I fought back the sting building in my eyes my head was screaming...ARE YOU KIDDING ME! I just had a baby! Not only that, I had a baby in the NICU for two weeks and I haven't slept like a human being for almost 8 weeks! (and lets be honest its really been more like 8 months) I am in constant demand for food and comfort and every other little need this tiny human has...ARE YOU KIDDING ME? But all I could muster was a sad little "why would you say that"? Now in fairness to this visitor, and the main reason I am allowing them to remain nameless, I know that the comment did not come from a place of malice. It in no way was meant to even be hurtful, this individual was just blissfully unaware of the land mine riddled field they were dancing in when they made what they believed was just a simple observation...Also in fairness to this individual, I had not showered that day (I though I was doing great putting on real clothes and not staying in my pajamas!), I had my hair in a ponytail and it did not even occur to me to put on a stitch of makeup for their visit. So this begs the question...how off base was he? What exactly is the statute of limitation on "letting yourself go" once you have a baby?
I've been at this almost two months now, I'm returning to work in another 4 weeks...at some point I have to figure things out...Im pretty sure they are going to want me showered and ready for work...Just when do I have to get my shit together? The short answer to this, I think, is it depends. (Very PC right?) But really every day navigating these new waters known as parenthood are dramatically different. Some nights are much stormier than others...these are the days I tend to sail the ship in my sweats...and on those days of calm seas I can feel like a rock star for all I can accomplish with a baby on my shoulder. I don't think any of this will change as we transition out of the newborn stage into the baby that can crawl and eventually walk. And don't even get me started on how much more complicated this will get when the first mate enters toddlerhood...OY. The short story here is it really makes no difference if this kid put 10 years on me, its worth it. And in truth I do feel myself getting a bit more comfortable day by day....today for example? A huge win; not only a shower, but hair did and makeup on! Take that buddy!
mommies can still drop an f-bomb when appropriate. my vote says this would be such an occasion.
ReplyDeletealso, fyi, pain levels in childbirth are typically beyond the scale of what humans are wired to tolerate AND since you referred to your guest as "he" it might be a valid question to ask him if you could kick him in the testes at regular intervals over several hours (aka labor) and see how aged he looks afterwards. geesh.